This story is about a guy, Chad, whose
girlfriend was attacked and then later died from her injuries. Chad works in
the mountains at a camp and was planning on going on an adventurous night with
his friend but he lost the ring that belonged to his deceased girlfriend and
hat loss made him think about her and we learn that he has been suffering for a
while. Chad’s friend ends up staying in and comforting him instead of going out
to enjoy the night, the fact his friend stays with him ends up giving him much
satisfaction.
I
thought this story did a really good job at evoking the intensity that I believe
it was aiming for. The setting could have been described a little more but I really
like the choice to have it in the mountains because it goes with the whole
mood.
I think
the story should stay in first person, it makes the most sense in this kind of
story.
I would
like to see more about the murderer and more of Julia. Chad’s girlfriend is so
important to the story so I think we would benefit from learning a little more about
her.
The
story is told in part by memories and in part by dialogue. Sometimes the
information brought out by the dialogue can seemed forced. I think that the initial
story of the girl being attacked and killed would be a better event to follow
than her boyfriend thinking about her and losing her ring after the fact.
The
pacing of the story works very well. It starts of intense and balances back and
forth for the whole length.
The
setting is in the mountains. I wish the setting would be elaborated on some
because it has so much potential to add a lot to the story.
The
opening of the story puts you in the setting and shortly after drawls you in
with the intense description of a crime scene.
There
is conflict in this story. The narrator has been trying to get over and move on
after his girlfriend was murdered.
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