Response to Deception

This story is about an elderly couple who seem to be going through some minor money problems. The wife starts to believe the husband is cheating on her and her suspicion are confirmed when she finds him in her room with the intent of killing her. The husband kills an intruder instead but not before the intruders shoots him, they both end up dying.

This story did a great job at building suspense and contained a lot of action which helped keep me interest while I was reading it. I also enjoyed the plot line. I thought it was really interesting and fun to read. I also like the last line “Thanks, my husband bought them for me”.

I think there should be more of a hint that there is marital trouble earlier in the story. The arguments seem a different caliber earlier in the story than would be if a man were to be willing to kill his wife. The husband seems to be a genuine man, so maybe show a bad streak he has always had before giving him the gun to kill his wife.

The point of view was third person and I believe it worked well for the story. I think that a first person point of view from the wife’s perspective could help increase the tension and feeling of excitement during the scene where someone broke into her house.

The characters are very interesting because there are not typical. The two main characters are old, grandparents, which makes an affair story interesting. I do wish that the husband’s character could be developed more, especially in the context of his cheating and almost murdering life.

The story line was easy to follow. I think the plot can stay as is the only problem with believability to me in the characters.

The pacing of the story works well. It starts out slow to give information and arcs into a very exciting finish.

The setting was well described at some points but not consistently. It would have been better to draw the reader in with setting description within the house and on the walk.

The closing was pretty funny and it did a good job at bringing the story back around and breaking up the seriousness that had just occurred.