Thursday, February 2, 2012

Response to New Coach


This story is about a cheer leader who just recently got a new coach. The new coach was very difficult to deal with because of his strict attitude. It starts to show that the coach goes beyond being strict he begins to act rude and insulting to the people on the squad. The narrator is practicing one day when she was too tired to complete the full she was supposed to when the coach forced her to attempt it anyway. As she tried the rick she landed poorly and hurt her knee. She needed to stay on the team but she was injured so the coach yelled her while she recovered. Before she recovered the coach tried to make her do another tumbling pass but the narrator was finally fed up and she left.
                This story was intended to show how passion can end up making people do things they don’t want to do.
                I think this story does a good job at getting into the head of the narrator. She also seems like a believable character.
                I would like to see a first person version of this story; I think it is the best way to get into the mind of the main character.
                I think the characters are all pretty important because there are so few of them. I also believe that the coach should be elaborated on as a character.
                I think the scene with the two cheerleaders talking about the coach could be left out, it does not really add to the story.
                The story never gets too dull. The pacing is balanced very well between exciting action parts and expository thoughts.
                I think this story has a lack of imagery and describing the scene in a more interesting manner could really add something for the reader.
                I thought most of the dialogue was natural except for the two cheer leaders speculating on their new coach. I thought the speech given by the coach felt very real.
                The setting was not described well enough I think. The gym should have been described in order to bring the readers in.
                The opening scene should have been shown to us instead of just explained through the main characters feelings. 

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