Response to Aveux

This is a story about a man who is depressed because his wife committed suicide. All he had at the time was his daughter and his dog. His new girlfriend ended up committing suicide as well. He was even more depressed and was even charged with murder. Eventually the charges were dropped and he was released from jail but his life was still ruined because no one would hire him. Once out of jail he decided to write a book about finding faith even though he had not. He used his publicity from the trial to promote his book and it turned out to be very profitable. His daughter saw through the lie and lost respect for him. Finally after losing his daughters’ respect he decided to move to Paris, something his daughter had always wanted to do.

This story was told in first person and that was very important because for this kind of character it is good to be able to be inside their head.

The wife needs to be characterized better as does the daughter. The character we get the most out of other than the father is the girlfriend who kills herself.

The development of this story is mostly chronological but it also has a flashback and uses summary.  It gets confusing at points partly because of typos and other errors. It is such an interesting plot it just has parts that are not written very coherently.

The imagery is done well in this story. I wish it was used to describe all the setting though.

The dialogue needs work, it seems forced like it is trying to reveal more information than it should. The conversations are all good just the way they are said is inorganic.

I believe that a better since of setting is necessary.

I like the closing and I think the ending was great. I wish the story would have spent more time on the book writing portion but other than that it was a very interesting and enjoyable story.